Fetish

A fetish is a strong erotic focus on something specific: an object, a material, a body part, a scenario or a type of activity. Think the swish of latex, the smell of leather, or an enduring fondness for feet.

Fetish vs kink

People use the words loosely, and that's fine in everyday chat. A useful way to think about it: a kink is something you enjoy, while a fetish tends to be more central to how someone experiences arousal. For some people it's a strong preference; for others it feels close to essential.

Common types of fetish

Fetishes are as varied as people, but a few broad families come up often:

• Materials: latex, leather, rubber, silk, nylon.
• Body parts: feet, hands, hair, legs and more (sometimes called partialism).
• Clothing and objects: uniforms, heels, stockings, specific accessories.
• Scenarios and activities: particular roleplays, watersports, messy play and many others.

Is having a fetish a problem?

Having a fetish isn't, on its own, a disorder. Modern clinical thinking separates having an unusual sexual interest from having a disorder, which is generally reserved for interests that cause significant distress or harm, or that involve people who haven't consented. If a fetish is consensual, legal and part of a life you're happy with, it's simply part of who you are. If it's causing distress, a kink-aware therapist can be a supportive person to talk to.

Consent and communication

A fetish never overrides anyone else's consent. Involving someone in your fetish without their knowledge, for example secretly photographing their feet or taking their belongings, isn't okay. Share your interests honestly with partners, accept a "no" gracefully, and look for people who share the same interest. Online fetish communities can be a great way to find them.

Common misconceptions

• "Fetishes are rare." Fetishes are common, and many people have at least one strong preference.
• "A fetish means you can't enjoy anything else." Plenty of people with a fetish enjoy a varied sex life.
• "You can just switch it off." Fetishes often feel deeply rooted. Acceptance tends to work better than shame.

FAQ

Where do fetishes come from?

Nobody knows for certain, and there probably isn't one single explanation. What matters more is how you explore yours: honestly, safely and consensually.